Baby, It’s Cold in Some Hearts

“People are just too sensitive nowadays.”

“No one can take a joke anymore.”

The theme is prevalent right now. I believe it started around 2008 when some groups started worrying about their status in this country. The outcry over being politically correct grew louder. “Back in my day…” became much more than something the older generation said about walking to school.

“Back in my day…

You could compliment a woman.

You could make jokes and people didn’t get their panties in a wad.

We weren’t so sensitive.

We didn’t have all this political correctness.”

Yes, this is all true. In my childhood, we used terms to describe people who would never fall out of my mouth today.

One example is the “r” word to describe those with special needs. I mean, really… How ignorant!

I hear people complaining all the time that we are too serious now. We can’t just say what we want anymore. We have to watch ourselves.

“We have too many snowflakes.”

Snowflakes who can’t take when a man remarks about their behinds. Snowflakes who can’t take a joke about sexual orientation. Snowflakes who just don’t get that we all used to talk this way, it’s just words, and no one cared then.

One of my favorite expressions about people who want a more PC conversation is:

“They all just need to grow a pair.”

How funny. I would love to dissect the innuendo that women aren’t strong because we don’t have balls. I would love to talk about just how gross that idea is. I would love to dive into that phrase, but I’m trying to make another point.

Why do we need to say derogatory things? Really, I am seriously asking this.

Is it hurting people to not be able to say the three-letter “f” word to describe someone more effeminate? Is it hurting people to not be able to talk about my … well… chest area? Does it make your life harder to not be able to get drunk and grope a few women, all in good fun?

I have really been dissecting this in my head.

Isn’t choosing kind the better way to go anyway? Aren’t we supposed to care about other people?

Listen, I know… I KNOW… some want to joke about gays, or women, or people of other ethnicities… “All in good fun.” BUT REALLY?

There are actual things in this world that are funny for all. The moments that are universal and not aimed at bringing another person down in order to make someone feel better. (“Back in my day” (and now), we called that bullying.)

My favorite thing to watch is a stand-up act. I don’t care if I know the comedian… if I see a new special on Netflix or HBO… I’m pushing play. I love, love, love stand-up comedy. I will watch documentaries on it, movies, “The Amazing Mrs. Maisel”… anything.

I laugh at very inappropriate things. Sometimes I even cringe. Sometimes I feel offended. Most of the time I understand the intent and I move on.

However, most of the time… the jokes are not aimed at my experiences. For others, just moving past a narrative that has helped suppress them is not as easy. I hate that for them.

So, let’s talk about one of the most fun songs, in my humble opinion, this time of year:

“Baby, It’s Cold Outside”

I love that song. It’s sweet, flirty, and fun. However, there are some who listen, and are jolted to a time when an exchange like that wasn’t so fun and had a very dark outcome.

As most of you know, I have a history of being sexually abused. I have written about that and other abuse many times. (And here is another.)

However, that song does not bring back memories of any of my abuses. It actually doesn’t bring back any memories of any time in my life.

Wow, though! Imagine if that song reminded you of a time a person kept trying to persuade you all sweet-like, and it ended violently!

So, here is the point I’m trying to make here. Does it hurt us to be sympathetic, empathetic, kind, or even just a little understanding about how others might feel about a joke, song, saying, or “good old days” activity?

I feel like the fight to use humor as a weapon because it is funny is one that is veiled with an air of “I don’t give a sh*t about you, so I’m going to keep doing what I want instead of listening.”

I feel like the people who want to keep insulting for the fun of it, and just say “lighten up” to others are the real snowflakes here. Why cling to something that hurts someone and only benefits someone’s ego?

I don’t know. This may all fall on deaf ears. The ones who agree with me will continue to agree, and the ones who don’t might roll their eyes and call me a snowflake.

However, I feel like I need to say all this out loud, just in case one person gets an “aha!” moment.

It’s like the other day, when I was talking to a faithful Christian woman, and I asked her what part of President Trump seems Christian-like. After talking to me about conservatism, and the importance of the courts right now, I asked her again. Do Christians believe in name calling, belittling, bullying? Is what he says about women, minorities, or those who don’t agree with him Christian-like?

She looked down, and quietly said, “No, as a Christian, I don’t think he acts like a Christian at all. I wish he were nicer.”

And, all I wish was that everyone would be nicer.

Before a person goes on a diatribe about how a song should not be offensive, I wish he or she would put him/herself in the shoes of someone who was assaulted in a setting like that song and just keep his or her feelings private.

I’ve said it before… I’ll keep saying it: We all need empathy. It makes us better people.

And, if like me, someone wants to listen to “Baby, It’s Cold Outside”… I hope they do! I just hope he or she will be kind if someone else would rather not hear it… and put in some ear buds.

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