I Turned Around and She Was Gone

Life is a quirky little journey. Some of us take many different paths and others stay in the space they have known their entire lives, surrounded by people who’ve known them forever.

The thing about taking different paths is that you often lose some people along the way. It could be because they saw prettier paths to take, or because they saw the sign that the lane ends way before you did…. or maybe you merged onto a new lane first.

Most of the time you know why friendships fade, but not always.

I had this one friend who shared an entire path with me for several years…. especially the Friday and Saturday night paths that led us to dancing our booties off. (Do people still say that?)

And, then, one day… she was on a completely different journey. And, honestly, so was I.

I’m sure, at the time, I could tell you all the reasons why the dancing stopped. Right now, I only know of one. We both fell in love with people not currently on that path and our eyes were set on a different scenery.

Almost a decade went by…. and then one day… a message. She didn’t know if I wanted to talk to her, if I was mad at her, or if I even wanted to be friends, but she wanted to reach out and try.

In that moment, no reason for our faded friendship could stop me from just saying, “Come on… walk with me!”

Without any explanation, we are friends again. We live in different states, we have kids and are married… but we can jump onto each other’s paths at any time.

Some friendships are seamless like that. You shared too much for it to end. I even have a friend I call my best friend. I will always call her that. The thing is… I talk to her MAYBE 4 times a year. However, the times we talk, or text, are like a minute has not gone by.

Then, well, there are friendships that just split into different spaces all together. Have you had one?

You are super tight. You share things with each other you never talk about with anyone else.

And, then, one day you turn around… and she is gone.

What do you do with that?

I have two separate reactions, and the one I choose is only based on my confidence level at the time.

  1. Avoid.
  2. Approach.

Many of my friends are in a time of life when we have kids and families and schools and jobs to occupy us. We move forward and join whomever is on our path. Maintaining relationships is a beast right now.

Yet….

If there is someone you love who has left your path, we owe it to choose #2. My dancing queen friend chose it… and I could not be more thankful she had that courage.

Someone dear to me has left my path, and frankly I have a lot of issues to sort out with this relationship before we walk together again. However, in the end, I don’t want to look back… forward… to the side… and not see her.

That has to be the factor we all consider as we continue our walk.

“Is there someone not on my path that I want to walk with again? Even if it is only for a few minutes a year?”

Maybe a text, or call, will change your course.

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