Bad Moms: Stick Together

This week, I had a fantastic time, meeting up with some moms from my youngest’s school to see the movie “Bad Moms”.  By the time I left the movie parking lot, I was met by someone who acted as though I was a “bad mom”.  I’m getting way ahead of myself here.

I had a rough, emotional week sending my oldest off to Middle School on a bus (first time riding a bus to school) and getting my youngest off to start 4th Grade.  I needed a funny movie with other moms.

I would say, “If you’re a mom, go see this movie.” However, I’m pretty sure even my husband would like it, or at least think some of it is pretty funny.  Parts of the movie are so inappropriate while being hysterical, you almost feel like looking away.

For those of us constantly trying to find that perfection sweet spot, or maybe just trying to live up to others, or maybe just wanting to make sure our children stay alive… this is our movie.

I felt comfortable sinking into a world where my quirky, sometimes annoying, habits would fit like a glove.

The main three women accepted each other so openly, and called each other out so easily.  The one played by Kristen Bell, Kiki, is the one I identified with the most.  She just says things that she shouldn’t say.  I spend most of every day wondering why I said something I did.  In the movie, though, Mila Kunis’ character, Amy, just accepts all of it.  I did identify with her as well, and even a bit with Kathryn Hahn’s character, Carla.  Only a little bit with Carla though… a tiny bit.

I am so lucky to have a few friends that just accept me as I am. While I write this blog, I am also texting with one of those friends, coincidentally named Amy , who is waiting for her daughter at guitar lessons.  She gets me like no other.  She knows I’m weird, and she’s ok with that. Sometimes we will laugh hysterically and our daughters will eye us like, “What age do we have to be to commit them?”

We all need people in our lives to make us feel somewhat normal.  That is what I took away from the movie.

Unfortunately, much of the population doesn’t relate with each other. As I was leaving the very movie about accepting each “bad moms” quirks, I came face-to-face with a “judgmental mom”.

Exhausting.

I’m not even sure I want to give the example of what went down, but I guess I can get through some crib notes.  Basically, this mom was with a woman I did not know.  That woman and I have children going to the same middle school.  She asked how my oldest is doing at said school. I said great, and the “judgmental mom” said, “Really? That’s not what you said on Facebook.” Hmm.  So many reasons why I didn’t like that statement. One, I did not know her friend, and she was inaccurately calling me out in front of her. Two, she was completely wrong about what I said on Facebook. Three, shut up.

Oh, wait, so here is how I responded: “Um, No. What I said on Facebook was that I wasn’t doing well.  Who cares about how I’m doing? She’s doing great, and we weren’t talking about me.” You would think that would stop the conversation… it didn’t and I don’t care to keep going. It ended with her critiquing how I did my volunteer gig at school. I just thanked her and moved on.

Here’s the thing: we all just need people to be nice. You may be thinking I’m being too sensitive, and yes, I’m a pretty sensitive person, but I’m not telling you the entire story.  I’m truly exhausted and bummed just thinking about it. However, for some reason I can’t stop thinking about it.

I have unfriended her on Facebook.  I don’t need that kind of negativity.  Seriously, I am hard enough on myself to let others in the game.

I wrote everything above here on Thursday.  I had thought I needed to wait a day, because I felt so negative. I waited 2 days. I’m glad I did, because I can end this on a high note.

On Friday, the PTA of my youngest’s school had a breakfast to greet new families. At that breakfast, I met a mom who seems as quirky as me. I hadn’t laughed that hard in a long time. I laughed so much, the principal came over to see what I was up to. I felt comfortable in my skin, and was so happy I took a moment to go say hi to this new mom.

On my way out, I met another very kind new mom, and I thought, as I headed back to the volunteer gig I’m screwing up, “This world is wonderful, full of some pretty great people.”

I just have to figure out how to better not let the negativity stay with me, and let go of the people who don’t show kindness.

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